Final week, a flock of untamed turkeys turned up in my yard.
This isn’t a metaphorical assertion or meant tongue in cheek. Ending a stroll across the neighborhood, I approached my home and noticed seven precise turkeys in my entrance yard, pecking the bottom and making themselves at dwelling.
How apropos.
Lower than per week after Thanksgiving and simply earlier than Congress undertook to expel considered one of its personal turkeys, this flock confirmed up as if on queue. Don’t inform me God doesn’t have an impressive humorousness.
Involved that these have been both escaped birds or dumped after being unsold previous to the vacation, I known as the Lakewood Police Division. The incredulous operator had me repeat my assertion twice simply to make sure he understood what I used to be calling about earlier than he dashed off a observe to the animal management unit.
Lower than 5 minutes later, I bought a name from a cheery officer who informed me all in regards to the flock. Apparently, what began as a single feminine roaming the O’Kane Park neighborhood in Lakewood final yr changed into a a lot bigger group after she had chicks. Simply try a few of the photos on a Reddit web page monitoring them to make your day.
She informed me that not solely have been wild turkeys native to Colorado, however that these specific ones had turn into native celebrities. That they had been monitoring them for some time and hoped that they might, slowly, proceed to maneuver west towards the foothills. However within the meantime they proceed to please native residents with their hijinx and antics.
I may relate. Watching them leap up onto my porch swing and sway backwards and forwards made me smile. And so they even let me get inside only a few ft to snap photos, seemingly unconcerned in regards to the presence of hazard.
However because the officer warned me, I wanted to chorus from feeding them. Whereas it was wonderful for them to hunt and peck, feeding them solely served to create expectations and aggression.
The teachings abound for turkeys in Congress.
Just some days after I first noticed the avian gobblers, Congress expelled a member for less than the sixth time in its historical past, three of which have been members of the Confederacy. Now former Rep. George Santos was eliminated for a litany of authorized, moral and comical causes.
Regardless of his ridiculous and felony masquerades, his expulsion was not even near unanimous. Republicans have been virtually equally break up — as soon as once more demonstrating their ambivalence to law-breaking and ethical decrepitude — with 112 voting for expulsion and 105 voting towards. Even two Democrats voted to permit Santos to proceed preening across the halls of Congress. In all, the 311 votes towards Santos eclipsed the 285 two-thirds majority mandatory.
However it’s a good warning to voters. Turkeys a number of, act foolish and get extra aggressive when fed.
Look no additional than the Colorado delegation for affirmation. Two members, Reps. Lauren Boebert and Doug Lamborn, voted to retain Santos. Lamborn doubtless voted with Republican management, who took a tepid place towards ejecting Santos, and to insulate himself towards assault from his former major opponent and state GOP social gathering/clown automotive chair, Dave Williams.
Boebert, although? Properly, you already know what they are saying about birds of a feather.
Just some weeks in the past Boebert and Santos virtually broke the web whereas sitting collectively in the course of the Speaker debates. Fortunately most memes centered on their uncanny Boris and Natasha vibe slightly than the potential for an encore theatrical efficiency from the Western Slope member.
Past the over-the-top antics each strut round displaying as proudly as a set of wonderful tail feathers, there may be the little matter of utilizing marketing campaign funds as private slush funds. Whereas Santos selected to pay for Hampton holidays, spas, Hermes and OnlyFans, Boebert was not less than just a little extra circumspect. The huge mileage reimbursements she claimed stalled out earlier than a deadlocked FEC, alleged unlawful contributions are nonetheless pending investigation and she or he solely spent just a few hundred {dollars} at her ex-boyfriend’s bar earlier than discovering out he was a Democrat.
That is the top results of irresponsible Republican voters over the previous decade plus. They’ve prioritized performative politics over substance. They’ve educated candidates to interact in hyper-aggressive habits within the title of “proudly owning the libs” over precise governance. That in flip has led to a speedy decline within the social gathering performing within the severe method the residents they signify deserve.
Till voters make a change of their habits, they need to not count on the turkeys operating for workplace to vary theirs.
In Colorado’s third Congressional District, voters will get two photographs to take action. First, Republicans and unaffiliated voters can exchange her in June with Jeff Hurd, a severe and considerate candidate, and an excellent man. In the event that they fail, a rematch with Adam Frisch, who made their race the closest within the nation final yr, looms. He has considerably outraised her as she continues to embarrass her personal constituents and get humiliated when she makes an attempt to sit down on the grownups desk in Congress.
Thanksgiving is perhaps over, however there are nonetheless just a few turkeys on the unfastened. Voters ought to hold a watch out for them over then subsequent yr.
Mario Nicolais is an legal professional and columnist who writes on regulation enforcement, the authorized system, well being care and public coverage. Observe him on Twitter: @MarioNicolaiEsq.
